Kiss
Puke
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
