I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
