I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
