Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
