he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
