and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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