if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
