Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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