It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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