Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
