I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
