Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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