Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
