school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
