this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Who did Billy Mays play for?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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