Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
