is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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