so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
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just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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