just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
im holly from the hills drunk
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
