So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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