i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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