dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
