ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
