Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize