I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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