we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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