Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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