hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
