week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
