even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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