People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
