I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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