Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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