Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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