he wants to bone in the snuggie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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