I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
