only if we run a train.
done.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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