guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
