Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
