Nicole vs. Life
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
