mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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