shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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