Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize