Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
