just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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