I just saw a hot homeless man
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
