There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
