do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
