My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
