I will die if light touches me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
