piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
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I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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