you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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