I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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