the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
