how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
