if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
