Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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