I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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