We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize