The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
