Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit