It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
