I cannot find my penis.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.