Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.