I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What a dumb baby whore.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
