Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
