It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
