What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
