Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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