This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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