I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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