Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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