if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
